WD EXCLUSIVE! EARLY UNDERMINER RECORDINGS LEAKED!!1!

I may just be a pawn in a mass media blitz, but I've recieved access to some early Underminer stuff...This is the first time anyone beyond the walls of the Underminer compound have heard the band. The leaker describes the recordings as "a Ramones cover that we did for the first time that day. The rest are shitty quality recordings from about a month ago.."

To access the songs just follow the link posted below and scroll down past the advertisements.


http://www.sendspace.com/file/0yn2pv

UNDERMINER SET TO ROCK WORLD.

The latest addition to the All family shrub, Underminer, is set to unleash itself onto the world Monday night with a show in Fort Collins CO. The band, featuring Karl Alverez and board favorite Jeff Reese is a mix of southern rock, high tempo jazz, gangsta rap and retro ska that will have you skankin till the cows come home.{actually, I have yet to hear the band, although I have seen their T-shirt and it looks pretty killer for five bucks.}
As of post time I'm uncertain as to where the show will be played, I think it's at some joint called the Aggie which is owned by Wing and Mutty. I'll have to get back to y'all

TEN QUESTIONS WITH ALLBALDO.

1. An ALL reunion. whats the chances?

I'd say pretty good, though the word reunion doesn't really fit, as we never "broke up". The last tours we were doing were so poorly attended that we could barely cover the tour expenses, so it's just not realistic for us to pursue the band in that way. We can't afford to pay to go on tour. Gotta make a living somehow. That said, the door is always open to new music, and I expect we'll do more, just because we enjoy playing together. With me living in Tulsa, it's harder to organize. We've always practiced very heavily to make recordings, and we can't do that, so a new method of working is neccesary. That's the obstacle at this point. We've all got music to play, so that's not an issue. I'd love to see it happen.

2. What classic rock album would you love to remaster and why?

Though not considered classic rock, it's classic to me so.. I'd love to get my mitts on any of the early or middle period Black Flag records. My War, or Slip It In the most. My favorite would be to do a remix box set of everything they've played. Bill and I always wished we could do that.

3. Hows that project with Scott going?

Excellent! Were up to 13 songs in varying states, though I expect we'll record them all, then shitcan some clunkers. Originally, we were doing a mix of his songs, and my music with his lyrics, but we've sort of moved to doing it with just my music and his lyrics. Since we can't tour (my fault, not his), I think he'll use his songs in one of his other projects. I'm hoping we can be finished in early September. The music is done... though it's just in demo form, and he's about half done with the lyrics... the hard part. It's been a lot of fun for me, since I've had no musical outlet all this time. I do my little demo tunes, and that's it, so this is a big deal for me. I've always been the "jr partner" in the writing department, so to do this much music that I wrote is a big leap of faith for me. I've never had much confidence in the writing department, and a lot of the music I've written is among the worst recieved in ALL's catalog. Hopefully, it'll come out ok. I feel like I'm just starting to learn how to do it, where all of the other people I've played with have done it for years.

I don't know if we're going to do this with a label or not. It hardly seems worth it, considering how few sales there would probably be. Maybe iTunes or something of that ilk.

4. Are you into sushi?

Love it. Unagi in particular. We don't get to have it much... too expensive, but we do splurge once in a while.

5. Having played all over the world, where is the best place to play? {you can break down by state, country, club, whatever}.

I don't have a favorite, but a few that I've really enjoyed are: Maxwell's in Hoboken NJ. Just a fun small club with good sound and great food.

We've had a lot of really fun shows in Holland.. more good food, and the sound was always much better than similarly sized clubs in other places... especially the US. They actually give a shit about the arts there... Germany too.

As cities go, Philidelphia was always a great town to play in, as well as Detroit. They just seemed to "get it" in those towns. The audiences didn't need you to look the part, if you rocked hard enough. Just our cup of tea.


6. Do you like any rap music?

Not much. I do like Public Enemy.. do they count? Probably not. I do like the Beasties, though I KNOW they don't count. I'm just drawn to real instruments being played by real people. I guess I'm old fasioned in that way. I haven't given much of it a chance. There's probably some really good stuff out there I just haven't been exposed to.

7. Whats your dream vacation?

A month in NYC with Nat, and a big pile of $. Someday, I'd like to take my kids... one at a time.. around Europe. Just to show them a bit of the world. Nat and I went to Maine a couple of times, and I really loved it there. I love to be near the ocean.

8. In your view, who was the best band to ever come out of the DC scene?

Far and away, the Bad Brains. I like some of the Dischord stuff pretty well, and there were some great "non Dischord" DC bands, but the BB's just smoke.. uh wait.

I got to see their renunion show right after they had recorded I Against I. It was the first show they'd done in DC in a long time, and they were just astonishing. They were really commited to the band at that point, and they were absolutely on fire. A few months later I saw a 2 show record release party for I Against I in a small DC club. Both of these shows were fantastic. During the encore of one of the shows, the band brought a bunch of their rasta buddies on stage and they all smoked pot while Ian Makaye sang Day Tripper with them.

9. Do you ever walk into a guitar shop and just start shredding?

Never. I worked at the local Guitar Center for about a year while I was getting my studio up and running, and I would play a bit sometimes before the store would open, and that's about it. I'm not much of a guitarist outside of certain constructs.. Descendents/ALL and my own stuff. I can't just play random stuff, and I'm not well versed in other peoples music. I really see the guitar as part of a whole, and without the rest of the band, it's not that exciting.

10. What ALL/Dents song do you wish you could "take back"?

Impressions. Ugh. Sorry about that one folks.

NEW BOARD FAILS TO UPGRADE POSTING.

It's been a little over a week or so since the board moved to a new server, and while there are many improvements over the last version, these upgrades have failed to raise the overall quality of the posting that takes place on the forum. Already, topics as hard hitting as "lunch" and "fashion fag Friday" have taken center stage, and experts predict that it is only a matter of time until the first of dozens of "some kind of monster" threads rears it's ugly head. The bit accounts that have been attempted are nothing less than pedestrian, so much so that I can recall none of them at the moment. Even Chip and the CLA seem off their game since the move {and banning that proceeded it}. The blog has also suffered from the current void in outrage and defensiveness that are the hallmarks of the board. As of post time the thread titled "Do you feel old and if so, when did you start feeling old?" is the most popular topic on page one of the forum, a dark portent of things to come.

AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE.

A thread created by former Chef of the future member, chip, gloating over the rumored failing of the blog has prompted a virtual flood of PM's to it's most humble editor, and has caused widespread panic among the board collective. Rest assured kind reader, the blog is not in failure mode...yet. I figure updating it at least once every five to six days counts as a non-failure. But to be fair, it's not like the board is on fire as of late. Pick it up people! The news is you, and you are the news.

AMERICAN NINJA.

I'm doing a million things right now, but I felt I would be letting down the WD community if I did not address the latest in the on-going saga that is improvgate. Gurg dug up some old ALL profile thing and found a treasure trove of AB information. The most important find being the admission that AB once was very interested in improv {a claim he has long denied} saying: "My big thing now is taking improv comedy classes. I started going to shows at the Upright Citizens’ Brigade theater, and the bug bit me even though I have zero background in performing or even any kind of aspirations to act. But it’s a lot of fun." More damning was the ninja-chip photo that began to circulate on the thread {see above}.The photo has already seen use in various avatars and photoshop bits and experts contend that it will be a strong source of board fodder for years to come. As of post time, the still banned AB has yet to make a statement {via jaybird} on the matter. Unsurprisingly, CLAer theDomestic offered only a minor wall of defense for his bro, comparing the board collective to a bunch of schoolgirls or something.

DEVELOPING.

As it turns out, I have a life of sorts and for the next few weeks it will prevent me from posting on the board/blog...this is just a vacation. No lost password, no quitting.

I'll be watching. Keep it real.

TEN QUESTIONS WITH GURGLE.

1. so what is gurgle up to these days?
School and music. I have one year left of school, and I'm playing in a band that's really fun and actually makes money. Life is good.

2. the flat tax. good idea?
I don't know. I'm not really convinced by the notion that taxing rich people more is economically bad. It has some negative effect, but the big question is whether taxing the rich at higher rates brings in more cash, or if taxing them at a lower rate increases overall productivity, thus bringing in more cash than we'd have gotten if we had taxed them more. Considering how low the maximum tax rate currently is (35%), I'm inclined to think that the government could get more money by taxing the rich more. From an economic point of view I think you'd have to go over 50% to see real damage done. There are moralistic issues that go along with this, of course, like "is it fair to tax people more for being more successful?", but those don't really interest me. So for now I'm going with a tentative "No".

3. if you could be in any band that ever existed. what band would it be? why?

Initially I wanted to say XTC, but they wouldn't have been anywhere near as good if I had been playing instead of Colin Moulding. I think this is an impossible question because all the bands I love would be made worse if I took over on bass. But if there were some way around this conundrum, I'd go with XTC, cos they're the best band ever.

4. better movie: the godfather or goodfellas?
I haven't seen Goodfellas. I know I should, and I will. That said, I don't see how any mob movie could be better than The Godfather.

5. ever want to have kids?
Absolutely. Just not anytime soon.

6. if you had to give up one forever, pot or drink, which would it be?
Pot. I've already pretty much given it up. I smoke it occasionally by myself, but I'm socially useless when I'm high. Alcohol is far superior in that sense.

7. whats the last good book you read?
I hardly ever make it all the way through a book. Freakonomics was the last one I went straight through. It's really good. Just about all of my reading time goes to newspapers and magazines and The Dorkboard.

8. whats the most amount of guys you've been in a hot tub with at one time?
I'm not sure, probably three. I was in a hot tub, naked, with Mike Wing from local heroes Leghorn and Harvey Knuckles, and he thought it was really funny to walk directly over my head every time he got out of the hot tub. So while I can't remember exactly how many guys I've been in a hot tub with at once, I can tell you that I've been repeatedly teabagged in a hot tub by a guy. And he's not even into Turbonegro.

9. ever have any run-ins with the law?
Nothing significant. Got caught with pot when I was 19 and the cop just told us to leave the neighborhood.

10. the famous gurgle boner pic, is it just a trick of the lens or are you, you know...sprung?
No trick. You'll notice that there's a gorgeous girl draped over me, which is why I have the boner. At the time I was a virgin, so that may explain why it withstood my simultaneous amazing alcohol consumption.

BOARD SPLIT ON AB'S FATE.

A binding poll issued last night to determine the length of AB's banning proves, unsurprisingly, that the man is as divisive as ever. the results, thus far, are as follows:

chip should be banned....
for the rest of the week
9% [ 2 ]
for the rest of the month
0% [ 0 ]
for the rest of the year
0% [ 0 ]
forever!
14% [ 3 ]
till he uses a board related reference in a review.
33% [ 7 ]
till he comes clean about jadegate.
23% [ 5 ]
till darell says it's o.k to let him come back.
19% [ 4 ]

Total Votes : 21

It's worth noting that at least two respected posters {Gorder and Gurg} felt that the banning was an injustice in the first place and should have never happened. Outside of the the comments Jaybird posted from AB in regard to this matter, nothing else has been heard from the elusive critic, or from noted CLA members who have laid low since the banning took effect. But experts contend that if the current trend in this poll holds steady, and if it is indeed binding, AB will only be granted access to the board again after he uses a common board reference in a review. Which begs the question, "how can one work in the phrase failed blogger, or I'am not kidding into a review of the latest, brootal folk-doom album?"

WD HALL OF FAMER-PRESIDENT BUSH.

Even after most of America, including Republicans, have turned their backs on President Bush, the defeater of Kerry can still draw the ire of the board collective like no other. The man can even get usually level headed posters to offer a guarded yet contemptuous remark. One has to wonder if the President is not a board member {chipbot?} and if perhaps he pardoned "Scooter" Libby to cause a rubbersheet shortage in Fort Collins. Indeed the very fact that I'm calling him "President" Bush is enough to raise the blood pressure of the overwhelmingly left leaning forum.

Keep up the good work Mr. President! You might have failed almost completely as a leader, but you will always be an MVP in my book.

IT'S HAMMER TIME! BANNINGS FOLLOW MATANGS RETURN!

After weeks of speculation as to Matangs whereabouts, the wild rumors can finally be put to rest. Turns out he was just out of town. But if that news was anticlimactic, Mr. Tang's action were anything but pedestrian. He quickly banned AB, for what I'm unsure, it could have been many things...posting creepy porn comics, using foul language in thread titles, perhaps even being behind the rash of unfunny accounts that have plagued the board over the last few days!?! Matang spoke little on the subject, saying " i deleted the offending accounts, banned the ip, and stopped allowing new accounts for a few days." How long this banning will remain in effect is uncertain. In the meantime, Matang also announced that the board would be moving to a new server, which may interrupt posting sometime next weekend.

DEVELOPING.

POSTER OF THE WEEK-DS.

This week saw some stand-out posting by the likes of P.Albert, Gurg, AB, me, and many others. But DS won the internet over the last five days. I've always enjoyed his posting, he has a way of getting under your skin for sure. But there was something different this week, a new swagger of sorts. His post were short but got the job done. Much respect.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK.

"no human being is illegal." - riffmaker

"Curse my lust for pre-dawn sushi!"-AB

"P.S. I have CLA envy. IANK"-Gorder

"But then again, I'm just a flag-hating spineless lib faggot"-theDomestic

"If there's an online situation more analogous to "ten losers in a basement," I can't think of it."-AB comments on the return of the blog.

"Anthony Bartkewicz - Musical Supervisor."-Jaybird

JADE THROUGH THE AGES.

While "Jadebraceletgate" heads toward it's unsurprising climax, I figured that right now would be a good time to give a very brief overview of the semi-precious stone, and it's meaning and uses in various cultures throughout the ages.

{puts on monocle}

The term jade is applied to two different rocks that are made up of different silicate minerals. Nephrite jade consists of the calcium- and magnesium-rich amphibole mineral actinolite (aggregates of which also make up one form of asbestos). The rock called jadeitite consists almost entirely of jadeite, a sodium- and aluminium-rich pyroxene.
Among the earliest known jade artifacts excavated from prehistoric sites are simple ornaments such as rounded beads, buttons, and tubular jades. Additionally, jade was used for axe heads, knives, and other weapons. As metal-working technologies became available, the beauty of jade made it valuable for ornaments and decorative objects.
In ancient China Jade was used to create many utilitarian and ceremonial objects, ranging from indoor decorative items to jade burial suits. Jade was considered the "imperial gem".
Jade also found use in burial rights in ancient Korea, however, after the state of Silla united the Korean Peninsula in A.D. 668, the widespread popularisation of death rituals related to Buddhism resulted in the decline of the use of jade in burials as prestige mortuary goods.
Jade was a rare and valued material in pre-Columbian Mesoamerica. The only source from which the various indigenous cultures, such as the Olmec and Maya, for example, could obtain jade was located in the Motagua River valley in Guatemala. Jade was largely an elite good, and was usually carved in a variety ways, whether serving as a medium upon which hieroglyphs were inscribed, or shaped into symbolic figurines. Generally, the material was highly symbolic, and it was often employed in the performance of ideological practices and rituals.
Jade is the official gemstone of British Columbia, where it is found in large deposits in the Lillooet and Cassiar regions. It is also the official gemstone of the state of Alaska, found particularly in the Kobuk area. A two ton block of jade sits outside the Anchorage Visitor’s Center in downtown Anchorage, Alaska, mined from near Kobuk and donated to the city as a showpiece.

Of course this is a brief and incomplete overview of jade and it's value to the ancient and modern world. It is worth noting that the stone was {and is} valued by cultures separated by vast oceans, mountain ranges and the gulf of time itself.
The offering of a jade bracelet as a symbol of love and commitment carries with it the same power as it did in ages past.

THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF BLOGGING.

It took longer than I expected. Almost an entire hour after Weirdly Defensive: The Revenge hit the Internet it was targeted by the CLA in what experts are calling "a probing attack". The first phase of the offensive: a scathing {and presumed binding} poll penned by AB, asking how long this version of the blog would last. With five votes cast, the popular prediction seems to be a couple of weeks. Later, CLA propaganda Czar, theDomestic, pointed out a spelling error on the blog, an obvious attempt to destroy WD'S Rock solid credibility. These attacks were followed by a dismissive comment regarding the blog by fringe CLAer Mark P. But fans of the blog the world over have rushed to it's defense. Perhaps the most compelling statements coming from highly respected OG, Gurgle, who typed "hell fuck yes!" when he saw the new blog, later calling the decision to put it back up "great." only confirming what the great writer and poet Oscar Wilde once said "Genius is born, not paid."

Indeed.

TEN QUESTIONS WITH JOHNNY K.

1. I picked you for the first "ten questions" for version 3.5 of Weirdly Defensive. Must make you feel pretty special huh?

i'm literally touching myself right now. that movie "Swimming Pool" is on in the background, but i swear i'm not watching it.

2. How would you rate the board over the last six months on a scale from one to ten? one being dog shit, 10 being fucking awesome!

lots of new posters are trying. business is picking up. would a "5" make it shittily awesome?

3. Where the hell is matang? does that guy even post here anymore? What do you think he's doing right now?

probably grooming his chops. either that or trying to get up the courage to try out for lead vocals for Underminer. it's is a little discomfiting that we have been seemingly ruling ourselves for so long.

4. DS is pretty hot as of late, what do you think is the main factor in his current hot streak?

throw enough shit against the wall...

5. Sushi backlash on the board, real or trolling?

definitely trolling. that shit is good. until you get anisakis. (look it up).

6. Will Underminer ever play a show?

(consults Magic 8 Ball. IANK): "Yes. Definitely."

7. Ever have a guy hit on you?

besides you? (i keed, i keed).

8. Whats the one thing you want to do before the summer ends?

two chicks at the same time. wait, no, i want a writing credit on the Underminer album.

9. The Decemberists, yay or nay?

sad to say, i have never heard a note from them. i hang my monocle in shame.

10. How long till this version of the blog fails?

if Gorder would put his money where his mouth is, you could be bigger than Larry Flynt. probably a month, tops. thank you for picking me. i *heart* the blog.

Who is ChImMyChAnGa-4U?

By now we are all familiar with his hypnotic avatar, and thats really about it. So who is ChImMyChAnGa-4U? And what does he want? Ultrawong tried to get to the bottom of this "new" posters idenity early tonight, but without much luck. Chip {see also: classic chip. chip fucking future, toni, AB, etc..} seems to think it's your humble editor. It's not.
Perhaps his most recent post could shed some lght on the issue:

According to "AB" I'm a "bit". I get the sense that he thinks I am someone he knows. It always happens when those people find out you are affluent. I'm surprised he's not claiming we're distant cousins. Trust me, I don't know any of you pedestrian mouth-breathers. Except, possibly Ultrawong or Ice Dragon.

Not much there. But his profile offers up a bit of information, Mr.ChAnGa joined the board on September 20th, 2005! With only 36 post under his belt one has to wonder what he's been doing all this time. Under "Interests" he list Rise Against, a band {along with their fans} who have been the source of much redicule in the past. But beyond that we know nothing of the man. For the record, I vote for former 10.0 poster daysareblood.

DEVELOPING.

WD LIVES ON.

After a massive outcry from the board collective {almost twelve people at post time!} I've decided to restart the blog that fails like no other: Weirdly Defensive. I expect the usual cries of dissension from the usual suspects {based in and around New York City for the most part}, but that is the point, is it not? You can expect more of the same as before: Hot or Not {don't tell my wife!}, ten questions, and of course a solid archive of board events...What topic hit three + pages, who is mad at who, what new catchphrase will be beat into the ground, etc...
With wild liberals hosting game shows and music critics casting their shadow of scathe across the board, I'm confident there will be plenty to post about. If not I can always count on my skills as a shameless troll to stir shit up, the one skill I can claim myself successful.