AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE.

A thread created by former Chef of the future member, chip, gloating over the rumored failing of the blog has prompted a virtual flood of PM's to it's most humble editor, and has caused widespread panic among the board collective. Rest assured kind reader, the blog is not in failure mode...yet. I figure updating it at least once every five to six days counts as a non-failure. But to be fair, it's not like the board is on fire as of late. Pick it up people! The news is you, and you are the news.

AMERICAN NINJA.

I'm doing a million things right now, but I felt I would be letting down the WD community if I did not address the latest in the on-going saga that is improvgate. Gurg dug up some old ALL profile thing and found a treasure trove of AB information. The most important find being the admission that AB once was very interested in improv {a claim he has long denied} saying: "My big thing now is taking improv comedy classes. I started going to shows at the Upright Citizens’ Brigade theater, and the bug bit me even though I have zero background in performing or even any kind of aspirations to act. But it’s a lot of fun." More damning was the ninja-chip photo that began to circulate on the thread {see above}.The photo has already seen use in various avatars and photoshop bits and experts contend that it will be a strong source of board fodder for years to come. As of post time, the still banned AB has yet to make a statement {via jaybird} on the matter. Unsurprisingly, CLAer theDomestic offered only a minor wall of defense for his bro, comparing the board collective to a bunch of schoolgirls or something.

DEVELOPING.

As it turns out, I have a life of sorts and for the next few weeks it will prevent me from posting on the board/blog...this is just a vacation. No lost password, no quitting.

I'll be watching. Keep it real.

TEN QUESTIONS WITH GURGLE.

1. so what is gurgle up to these days?
School and music. I have one year left of school, and I'm playing in a band that's really fun and actually makes money. Life is good.

2. the flat tax. good idea?
I don't know. I'm not really convinced by the notion that taxing rich people more is economically bad. It has some negative effect, but the big question is whether taxing the rich at higher rates brings in more cash, or if taxing them at a lower rate increases overall productivity, thus bringing in more cash than we'd have gotten if we had taxed them more. Considering how low the maximum tax rate currently is (35%), I'm inclined to think that the government could get more money by taxing the rich more. From an economic point of view I think you'd have to go over 50% to see real damage done. There are moralistic issues that go along with this, of course, like "is it fair to tax people more for being more successful?", but those don't really interest me. So for now I'm going with a tentative "No".

3. if you could be in any band that ever existed. what band would it be? why?

Initially I wanted to say XTC, but they wouldn't have been anywhere near as good if I had been playing instead of Colin Moulding. I think this is an impossible question because all the bands I love would be made worse if I took over on bass. But if there were some way around this conundrum, I'd go with XTC, cos they're the best band ever.

4. better movie: the godfather or goodfellas?
I haven't seen Goodfellas. I know I should, and I will. That said, I don't see how any mob movie could be better than The Godfather.

5. ever want to have kids?
Absolutely. Just not anytime soon.

6. if you had to give up one forever, pot or drink, which would it be?
Pot. I've already pretty much given it up. I smoke it occasionally by myself, but I'm socially useless when I'm high. Alcohol is far superior in that sense.

7. whats the last good book you read?
I hardly ever make it all the way through a book. Freakonomics was the last one I went straight through. It's really good. Just about all of my reading time goes to newspapers and magazines and The Dorkboard.

8. whats the most amount of guys you've been in a hot tub with at one time?
I'm not sure, probably three. I was in a hot tub, naked, with Mike Wing from local heroes Leghorn and Harvey Knuckles, and he thought it was really funny to walk directly over my head every time he got out of the hot tub. So while I can't remember exactly how many guys I've been in a hot tub with at once, I can tell you that I've been repeatedly teabagged in a hot tub by a guy. And he's not even into Turbonegro.

9. ever have any run-ins with the law?
Nothing significant. Got caught with pot when I was 19 and the cop just told us to leave the neighborhood.

10. the famous gurgle boner pic, is it just a trick of the lens or are you, you know...sprung?
No trick. You'll notice that there's a gorgeous girl draped over me, which is why I have the boner. At the time I was a virgin, so that may explain why it withstood my simultaneous amazing alcohol consumption.

BOARD SPLIT ON AB'S FATE.

A binding poll issued last night to determine the length of AB's banning proves, unsurprisingly, that the man is as divisive as ever. the results, thus far, are as follows:

chip should be banned....
for the rest of the week
9% [ 2 ]
for the rest of the month
0% [ 0 ]
for the rest of the year
0% [ 0 ]
forever!
14% [ 3 ]
till he uses a board related reference in a review.
33% [ 7 ]
till he comes clean about jadegate.
23% [ 5 ]
till darell says it's o.k to let him come back.
19% [ 4 ]

Total Votes : 21

It's worth noting that at least two respected posters {Gorder and Gurg} felt that the banning was an injustice in the first place and should have never happened. Outside of the the comments Jaybird posted from AB in regard to this matter, nothing else has been heard from the elusive critic, or from noted CLA members who have laid low since the banning took effect. But experts contend that if the current trend in this poll holds steady, and if it is indeed binding, AB will only be granted access to the board again after he uses a common board reference in a review. Which begs the question, "how can one work in the phrase failed blogger, or I'am not kidding into a review of the latest, brootal folk-doom album?"

WD HALL OF FAMER-PRESIDENT BUSH.

Even after most of America, including Republicans, have turned their backs on President Bush, the defeater of Kerry can still draw the ire of the board collective like no other. The man can even get usually level headed posters to offer a guarded yet contemptuous remark. One has to wonder if the President is not a board member {chipbot?} and if perhaps he pardoned "Scooter" Libby to cause a rubbersheet shortage in Fort Collins. Indeed the very fact that I'm calling him "President" Bush is enough to raise the blood pressure of the overwhelmingly left leaning forum.

Keep up the good work Mr. President! You might have failed almost completely as a leader, but you will always be an MVP in my book.

IT'S HAMMER TIME! BANNINGS FOLLOW MATANGS RETURN!

After weeks of speculation as to Matangs whereabouts, the wild rumors can finally be put to rest. Turns out he was just out of town. But if that news was anticlimactic, Mr. Tang's action were anything but pedestrian. He quickly banned AB, for what I'm unsure, it could have been many things...posting creepy porn comics, using foul language in thread titles, perhaps even being behind the rash of unfunny accounts that have plagued the board over the last few days!?! Matang spoke little on the subject, saying " i deleted the offending accounts, banned the ip, and stopped allowing new accounts for a few days." How long this banning will remain in effect is uncertain. In the meantime, Matang also announced that the board would be moving to a new server, which may interrupt posting sometime next weekend.

DEVELOPING.